Pride, Prejudice & Probation

When girls watch love stories, chick flicks, boy meets girl cinema,
we hold out for the scene where everyone
finds true love...
we do.
Guilty.
We just want everyone to be happy...
In love.
We love love.
It's a girl thing.

Yesterday Paige introduced me to Pride & Prejudice.
I know...
You've probably all read or watched it by now and
I'm late to the party,
but actually the timing was perfect.
Just perfect.

I've been praying for the man that
will get the privilege to be a part of my life, and the life of my girls.
Yes, I said privilege.
I'm not just any girl.
And I don't have just any daughters.
I won't settle.
And they won't let me.

When I pray I try and picture God.
I like to imagine myself sitting beside Him.
He's not in a hurry.
I don't feel as if I'm wasting His precious time.
I can imagine Him shaking His head and smiling at some of the things I say.
I am severely honest when we talk.
I mean, seriously...
what's there to hide.
I talk about my relationships.
Those I've had, and those I imagine in my future.

In the movie, Donald Sutherland plays Mr. Bennett, the daddy to 5 daughters.
He is attentive, kind, and seemingly unfazed by all the estrogen,
drama and complexities of raising girls.

When Mr. Bennett hears of Elizabeth's desire to marry Mr. Darcy he first asks if this is truly what she wants.
Once she convinces him that she not only likes Mr. Darcy, but loves him,
tears come to her precious father's eyes and he says:

"I could not have parted with you, my Lizzie, to anyone less worthy."

Wow.
And then at that moment, as I was soaking in the beauty of it all...
living vicariously through the story of love found; hearts captured and surrendered to another...
I pictured my Father, my Abba Father...
taking my hand when I find my someone and saying to me:
"I could not have parted with you, my Gina, to anyone less worthy."

It will be in that moment that I understand why nothing else ever worked out.
Why I was on Relationship Probation.
A time for healing, dealing, reform and supervision from a higher authority.
He was holding onto me, selfishly, like a good Daddy until
He knew I was ready to be loved...and to love in return.

~gina